Tuesday, June 13, 2006

THE MOLE MAN COMETH...

My theory that the city nazim/mayor is actually the Mole Man from Fantastic Four and he is remodelling Karachi to become the Capital of his New Subterranean Global Underground Empire (N.S.G.U.E) holds true.

Why don't people listen to me? I am never wrong about these things. If Nostrodamus was half as accurate as me we would all be dead at the hands of the Anti-Christ by now and the world would be populated by men with faces of swine.

A few months back the local government decided it suddenly needed to dig up the road in front of my house and lay down sewage pipes really deep. So for a week my road looked like the Tunguska Meteor had smashed through it. Pipes were laid. Phone lines were accidentally ripped apart. But the work was done. Sewage would now flow 25 feet deeper than before and the world would become a better place.

Or so we were told.

Two days ago I opened the gate to find a 4 foot high geyser of shit. This morning we were informed the sewage lines were (surprise surprise) improperly placed and had thus ruptured. Now the street looks like one of the Sandworms from Dune just did a drive-by. Work is happening with superb efficiancy. Phone lines have once again been accidentally ripped up. As has my television cable line. And today I tripped into one of the freshly dug-up ditches and was ankle deep in dirty water.

Am thinking of amuptating my foot and cauterizing the wound with a heated sword. It'll be less painful than living in Karachi.

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Go read this interview with comedian Louis CK. Really great interview and he lit a fire under my ass. Time to think about finishing that short-film script that's been knocking around in my head for the past year.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Checkmate said...

Welcome to the club. We have since rececntly been living with a flowing river of human waste, flora and fauna attached. It has been only recently that the drains were opened but now we have telephone wires sticking out from every where. Newly built roads were dug up for the precast drain lids but after that everyone has forgot about them. Even if the lids are put in place they will be several inches above the road. What a thrill ride it will be for someone driving at night.

9:42 PM  

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