Thursday, February 16, 2006


Karachi is now in the second day of what might become a three-day strike to protest cartoons.

The strike has been peaceful so far, with stores, schools and offices closed and demonstrating crowds walking around simply chanting slogans and carrying banners adorned with sarcastic phrases.

The rest of Pakistan is...disappointed.

"C'mon Karachi! You were supposed to be the crazy city!" mocked one Lahori Protestor, still trying to wipe ash and soot of his face.

A spokesperson for Lahore's rioting mobs issued a letter of complaint to his Karachi counterpart:

"Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing on behalf of the PJM (Punjabi Rioting Mobs) to officially declare our disappointment with the city of Karachi.

Until now Karachi was legendary in its ability to create havok over non-issues. We fondly remember huddling around the T.V. as children and watching news footage of buses lit up like giant bonfires, just begging for a huge marshmellow. Sights of city streets littered with flaming tires (the burning kind, not the gay kind) would excite us more than an episode of Transformers.

Where has all the carnage gone?

Lahore worked hard to set a standard. We put in time and effort. We burnt Citibanks. We even carried on our nations proud tradition (one that was established in Karachi, it should be noted) of wrecking KFC outlets. Dammit, we did some hard rioting. And then we turned our eyes south to watch Karachi take the torch from our tired grimy hands and use it to set shit abalaze.

Nothing. Karachi you have let us down. No more shall you be known as the riot-king of Pakistan.

You have gotten all civilized. How boring. We laugh at your "peaceful demonstrations". We mock your "silent protest." Grow some balls Karachi. Heck, borrow ours if you need to.

You fucking pansy.

Yours affectionately,

The PJM"


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