Friday, September 16, 2005

I know I know...

It's been a while since I posted anything. The current day-job workload is overwhelmingly painful. Couple that with Black Fish stuff and you only scratch the surface of my daily routine.

Some News:
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- Saad's Open-Mic night happening for sure. I'll do around 5 minutes of Stand-Up and I just need to figure out which bits to use. Maybe one new and one old. It is on the 26th of September, which is pretty much all I know for sure.

- That came-out-of-nowhere Stand-up show that I mentioned below is on the 18th for sure. Got my tickets. Saad and I are both going to attend, strictly research and fact-finding mission. I hope they do a good job, nothing would improve the entertainment scene here like a series of good Stand-up shows.

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Haven't written anything new in a few days, but yesterday my driver rammed my small car into a taxi, thus rendering it smaller still. The taxi was parked at the time, and he hit it from behind, so it was kind of amusing to see him trying to explain to me how it was the other guys fault. Been rear-ended often enough myself so am sure there might be some material in there.

Also been considering doing the obligatory "Women are confusing" stuff that almost every comedian has. Problem is, there is so much material already done on the topic that there is little space for originality left. Plus, really, how funny are those segments anyway?

To keep you entertained, and make up for the lack of posts, here is an older bit that I wrote and performed to great success on the 14th August Black Fish show only to later realize that the piece can only be used once a year and so is useless to me now. I still love how it came out though:

I used to love 14th August as a kid. Used to get up bright and early every morning to watch the army parade on PTV. This was back when the only entertainment we had was 4 and a half minutes of Heckle and Jeckle every evening just before the Sindhi news, so an hour of people in Khaki and camouflage marching was a biiiig deal. They used to have everything. Honking big missiles and tanks of all kinds and everything. I still believe there were Intelligence agents across the border in India who had their t.v. antennas trained in our direction and were just cataloguing as fast as they could.
“Air-to air missiles, two. F-16’s 4.”
Every time the ads would come on it would mess them up..
“Three commando units. 12 paratrooper units. One bottle of Rooh Afza.”
14th August is all commercial now. It’s like this great big marketing opportunity. They have ruined it. Everyone has manipulated it for their own benefit. It’s upsetting. But what is worse is they all use the same sort of lines.
“Enjoy the taste of freedom with Knorr.”
“Enjoy the speed of freedom with Toyota”
It’s going to just get excessive at this rate.
“Enjoy the cholesterol of freedom with McDonalds.”
“Enjoy the odor of freedom with Sure deodorant.”
They’ll have a pic of Jinnah waving with that stupid tick over his underarm.

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