Wednesday, November 16, 2005


God I feel so much more relaxed. Don't need to lock myself into my room and rehearse anymore. My wife is grateful.

Am currently sitting at the office, waiting for a meeting. Office is located in the top floor of the ABN AMRO building (the glass structure next to Marriot). Below us 500 ABN employees are dressed in identical black t-shirts, crowded together until all that is visible from above are the bald people. They are listening in rapt attention to their CEO screaming motivational generalities into a micrphone in piss-poor english. And every time he tells them they are what makes this company great they cheer as if it is the single most awe-inspiring thing they have ever heard.

"YEAAHHH!" *applause*

Please God, give me the strength not to go and piss over the railing. I hate office culture.


So general feedback from the show seems to be that majority loved the performance. Some critics here and there, mostly people who expected more Chris Rock-style stand up and were irritated that they got Seinfeld-esque stuff instead. Not that I am comparing myself to Seinfeld know what I mean.

Next up is BLACK FISH this Sunday. And then I attend Saad and David's joint show this Monday. Am really really looking forward to that. Both are fantastic comics with wildly different styles and content.

DVD should be ready by the time the weekend ends. Can't wait to watch it.

The idiotic CEO/Motivational Speaker just finished his monologue with "You are not ABN AMRO. ABN AMRO is you!" Que thunderous applause from the mindless drones below.

My fave joke from back in the day:

Q. What's the collective noun for Bankers?
Ans. A wunch of bankers.

Chew on it for a while.

Damn. Should have pissed when I had the chance.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


It's done. Over. Kaput. Finis. Khallas.

There are a thousand things that I want to say about the show, but some of them are difficult to say without appearing egotistical. So no self-praise, other than: It went better than I could have hoped. Which is something to be proud of.

Tickets sold insanely on the last day. Audience was packed in so tight I couldn't see any empty spaces for even one more person. They laughed at all the right times and even at some wrong ones (I can't believe I never saw the sexual aspect of "rear-ended).

I messed up a few times. Nothing major, but it was there. And once the mike killed a joke.

Got it all on video though. If the sound turns out alright I might make copies for anyone who wants them.

Will write more later. They said some nice things over at Karachi Metblogs and I know Herald, Images and the Friday Times had reviewers there so reviews soon.

In the meantime I'm going to enjoy the fact that I don't have to carry these jokes in my head any longer. No more obsessing over the material. No more studying Stand-up.

Until I can come up with another hours worth of material at least...

Friday, November 11, 2005


Updates have been non-existant recently. Bunch of reasons really: The computer connection has been screwy of late, busy with office stuff alot these days, spending all my free time rehearsing...oh, and my dog ate my homework maam.

Last week has been hectic. Checked ticket sales at Costa on Monday and found out they had sold two tickets. TWO!? Which just proves Black Fish's theory that no one buys tickets till the last day before the show.

Saad had another Open-Mic this last Tuesday, and I performed there. Was nervous as hell because it was all material I had never even tested before, some of which I had written the night before, and if it went badly then that would kill my chances of people looking forward to the Sunday show. Nothing worse than wbad word-of-mouth. I know what I'm talking about dammit, I'm an advertising man!

The Gods smiled upon me though.

Open-Mic went fantastic. Saad rocked his set, David did his usual fantastic job, there was some kid from Islamabad (22 years old!) who had a mixed set but got some good laughs in between and given some experience he could become quite exceptional. Got to watch him. Stand-up is a cut-throat business. Nip these young turks in the bud I says.

My set was the best I have ever done. Seriously. Went far beyond anything I expected in terms of quality. My timing was just how I wanted it. No screw-ups. Big big laughs. Thank God. Since then my ticket sales have gone through the roof!

Yesterday I dropped off 4 complimentary tickets to City FM89 for free on-air giveaways. They were really supportive and keen. I guess they want to recover from the disaster that was last months CRACKDOWN show. Listen for the chance to win tickets on Saturday all day.

So that brings me to the here and now. 3 in the A.M. on Saturday morning. No chance of backing out now. Word has spread. Tickets have sold. Am rehearsing thrice a day atleast. Some people are concerned that some of the material is a repeat of what I've done at previous performances but I figure 10% of the audience total would have heard all of the previously-performed stuff and that in a whole just comprises 30% of the show.

No excuses for screw-ups now.

I feel alot more confident than before.

And if it's possible, alot more nervous.